Like you really want to know.
The last time the septic tank guy came to pump out our tank was four years ago. It is recommended that we have our tank pumped out every three years, but the last time he did it, it was late in the season, and last summer, we just didn’t get around to it. Plus, the last time he came, we paid him to do an inspection of our entire system, and it failed – with flying colors, of course.
$10,000 later, we had a whole new leach field, etc.
So when he came back here earlier this week, he told me the tank was pretty full (yuck, like I really want to visualize that) and that we’d been using too much toilet paper.
How, exactly, does one respond to such a charge? “Oh, sorry, but cleanliness is a virtue?”
He told me that we need to scale down the toilet paper use and that we really ought to stick to the three-year pump-out schedule. I assured him that we’d do both (what else was I going to say?) and then he went on to tell me that a lot of people say that, but then they go on using the same amount of toilet paper.
I have to say, it felt very odd, standing there in my yard with the stench of sewage all around, discussing our personal toilet paper use with a man I only meet for a couple of hours every three (or four) years.
He then said that if we DO continue to use the exorbitant amounts of toilet paper (that we are very clearly using), we might want to consider having the tank pumped every two years – at least until the kids are grown and gone.
Sheesh. I nodded, agreed with everything he said, and ushered him back down our driveway as quickly as I could.
I ran back inside to escape the stench and told everyone (in great detail) to cut down on the toilet paper usage. The kids nodded in wide-eyed agreement, wanting to change the subject. Hey, I told them, if I can listen to it from a man I hardly know, you can hear it from me.
They nodded again and found reasons to leave the room.
I ask you, how exactly does one monitor the toilet paper usage of teenagers? As if one would even WANT to do that.
Ok, that’s it, I’m finished talking about it… for at least another three (or four) years.
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